Less Input, More Application

The Struggle is Real

If you would prefer to listen instead of read these thoughts please enjoy, please use the audio version, above.

I don't know about you but I find myself listening to or reading all sorts of really good things - podcasts, sermons, books, talking with friends. Lots of really good stuff to make my life better, make me a better person, entertain me with meaningful stories and poems and monologues. But this thought has come to me more than once in the past few weeks, which usually is God's Spirit's way of saying, "Hey Sally, pay attention to this!

As I was listening to a sermon from North Point Community Church on my walk the other day the pastor, Joel Thomas, preaching on trials, temptations, and the tension of being uncomfortable said, "We don't need to know more about what to do. We need to do more with what we know."

This finally went deep enough for me to stop and write it down to remember it and think on it more. I'd like to say that it's about living alone and not having anyone around to talk to, but I know that even when Kim was alive I spent a lot of time listening to or reading things. Part of it was because many times he just wasn't interested in what I might want to talk about, but also part of it was me escaping from what might be an uncomfortable situation with my husband, being reminded again of how far we had drifted apart and not sure of how to come back together...or truth be told, not always willing to do the hard work to bring us back together.

That's a lot of what has come up in all that I've been listening to lately - how things, how life can get really hard and uncomfortable and the many things we fill our time with to feel pleasure instead of actually facing that discomfort and doing something about it. I know for me it seems that things have to come to some sort of crescendo before I'll finally give in and do what I know I really need to do, but I'd really like to get to the point where I face things head first a bit sooner.

For me part of that has meant not picking up my phone. I've found that many times when I have a legitimate reason for picking it up - get contact information, check my calendar or look for an email I'm expecting, I end up after checking what I picked it up for in the first place, getting sucked into scrolling through Facebook or Instagram, playing a quick game of FreeCell or looking at the many Notes I've created with everything from writing prompts to books and movies to the balances of my investments. Even worse, sometimes I get sucked in even before I get to my intended destination and then have to think a minute to remember what I picked it up for in the first place! Ugh. Is it just me?!!

I need a continual prompt that asks me, "Sally, are you on your phone? Is that really how you want to spend this gift of a day?"

I have been trying to be more intentional since I started writing this earlier this week, and I have to say things have improved...a bit. But boy, is it easy to backslide! All it takes is one or two reels and I'm easily sucked back in.

I've also had to make some decisions on what constitutes mindless and wasteful input and what is a bit more healthy. So listening to my audio book, in moderation is good - and even better if I'm doing something along with it like gardening or cleaning up the house or emptying the dishwasher. Playing FreeCell while listening to it probably isn't as great.

I love to write and I'm trying to hone my skill, so sometimes I feel torn at sitting back down to a screen after working on one all day. So I've also tried to go on more walks in the mornings and I even took my crazy dogs on walks today (we tried doing all of us but it was very clear two steps out the front door that it wasn't a good idea, so I walked them separately - more exercise for me).

Photo by Neil Soni on Unsplash

Having goals and deadlines always helps me too. More deadlines than goals. Having to prepare the service for our house church is always a great deadline for me. I get to look through and think about all sorts of good stuff and put it together in a meaningful way. I'm always thinking about how it might be heard or received by those who come and how I can make it more engaging and interactive and not just a reading exercise for everyone. It's challenging and it also feels like a gift I'm preparing to give.

That is the place I'd like to find myself in more - giving to and helping others. It seems like I did it a lot more when I was younger, but maybe it was just more physical, more literal than the gifts and serving I can give now.

So I guess I've come full circle as I think more about my motivations and how I spend my time. It takes such intentionality, and like our New Year's resolutions they can easily fade away if we don't stay on those intentions.

In my own life when I remember to submit it all to God many times I have to start with the bare basics...

Please God, give me the motivation to even pursue this thing, this new goal or way of life that seems good, seems better, healthier. Give me the strength to resist temptation and do the next right thing and not get too caught up in the larger picture of how often I've already failed and fallen short or how I can't do it perfectly but that doesn't get me off the hook from trying. Help me to stay focused, or help me to just chill and not focus at all. I submit this crazy life of mine to you and pray that you'll guide me and direct me to things and people and situations that will be life-giving, not life-sucking. Thank you for always being with me, even when I'm wasting my time doing stupid things. Help me to do better, Lord. Amen.

I'd love to hear what you're struggling with or how you try to face and really deal with some of the struggles in your own life. Feel free to share in the comments! Let's have a conversation! (At some point I'll figure out the whole chat thing on Substack as well. :)